5 months old!

Month 4-5

Loves: putting everything into his mouth!! reading time, stretch his arms so he can “stand” tall and finally find Mami from behind pillows, talking

I’m coming for you!

Able to: roll over both ways, do push-ups, move backwards, put his feet into his mouth!, pull his socks off

not sure if Sophie tastes better than my sock…

Weight: 6,2 kg

Height: ?

Notable moments:
1.Flew to Solo as his second trip to meet my grandma from mom’s side and everyone else.

2. I can really tell that my baby is REALLY mine. He loves his night sleep and will be very annoyed if it’s interrupted. So much like yours truly *blush*

Ssshhh… baby’s sleeping!

3. Trying out drinking using Doidy Cup and he did pretty good on second try.

4. Had a period of breast refusal when it felt like I was giving him poison instead of milk. Such a dramatic period especially because it was during our holiday

5. We managed to nurse on our Ergo. Life saving discovery because we I can still walk around in malls while he’s nursing then drifting to sleep straight away.

N’s nursing inside his ergo

Anyway, yang bikin galau adalah tiada lain dan tiada bukan si Baby N. Tepatnya kenaikan berat badan (bb) bulan ini (3 ke 4) atau selama 5 minggu cuma naik 350gr. Ah… galau banget waktu suster bilang kalo beratnya cuma 5,9kg. Lebih sedih lagi waktu dokter nanya dengan muka super serius tentang kenapa bb N naiknya dikit banget.

Yang bikin gue galau adalah kenyataan bahwa ASI yang gue produksi tuh cukup buat N. N sih nyusu langsung dan dia biasanya udah puas dengan satu sisi. Dari hasil beberapa kali pompa, satu sisi payudara bisa menghasilkan antara 80-110ml per 3 jam. Sisi yang diminum N juga kadang-kadang masih ada sisa dan gue pompa juga. Tapi karena gue gak ada nanny, i.e. gak ada yang ngasiin botol ke N, gue udah berhenti pompa sih karena.. males. Toh gak keminum juga kan.

Tapi dengan ASI yang cukup dan seringnya LDR (let down reflux) yang terjadi, N jadi sering keselek. Kalo lagi minum sambil tiduran (posisi favorit kita berdua karena bisa lanjut beneran bobo), dia sih gak masalah karena biasanya masih napsu. Yang jadi masalah adalah kalo lagi posisi duduk. Abis keselek dia jadi suka males lanjut dan asik liat-liat pemandangan sekitar.

Ini nih yang gue gak terlalu perhatiin. Awalnya gue PD aja kalo N minumnya cukup dan malah seneng karena dia gak butuh waktu lama buat minum. Beneran loh, bentar banget tapi kedengeran bunyi ‘gluk-gluk-gluk’ dan ditambah bukti kalo muntah banyak banget. Berarti minumnya banyak kan walopun kayaknya enggak. Tapi belakangan ini dia makin susah konsen kalo lagi minum. Kalo gue duduk di sofa, even dengan TV yang mati dia udah gak konsen tuh. Heboh liat-liat pemandangan baru. Apalagi kalo TVnya nyala, beh bisa bubar sesi minumnya. Akhirnya ya mesti boyongan ke kamar yang berlanjut bobo berjemaah. Ahahaha.

Trus kemarin pas kita ke Melbourne 10 hari. 1 minggu sebelum kita pergi, N nolak minum dari botol. Maksud hati mau nyobain lagi supaya kalo pas di pesawat ato kalo lagi jalan-jalan (baca: shopping), atau keadaan tidak memungkinkan dia tetep bisa minum. Ternyata gagal total. Padahal minggu sebelumnya dia masih mau minum botol (dikasiin papinya) dan gue bisa dine out tanpa ngajak N.

Di Melbourne tiap hari kita keluar at least setengah hari, dari before lunch – almost dinner time. Dan walopun tempat menyusui di sana ok-ok banget, tapi N malah gak konsen minumnya karena keasikan liat-liat wallpaper warna-warni. Seriusan deh, cuma di parents room yang dindingnya polos dia bisa minum dengan tenang.

Lanjut ke perjalanan pulang ke Indonesia. Setelah perjalanan pergi yang super mulus (ini cerita di lain hari), perjalanan pulang jadi super melelahkan. Daytime flight artinya N susah tidur karena asik liat-liat, dan asik liat-liat artinya gak bisa minum banyak. Waktu sampe di Jakarta, both boobs udah keras banget karena cuma dikeluarin dikit dan karena ASI memakai prinsip demand and supply, produksinya langsung berkurang drastis. Oh my my… panik langsung menyerang. Apalagi di rumah nyokap stoknya gak banyak dan udah 2 bulan gitu. Ditambah lagi N masih mogok botol. Waktu disuapin juga kan banyak yang tumpah, jadilah hati ini galau berat.

N juga lagi hobi bolak-balik. Suka pamer kan tiap kali ditaro, langsung guling ke kanan-kiri. Tidurnya juga tengkurep sekarang, pake gusrak-gusruk dulu cari posisi PW. Sering banget dia tengkurep sampe keringetan tapi marah-marah kalo dibalikin. Jadi udah minumnya minimalis, tenaganya dipake maksimal. Habislah sudah…

As of today, produksi ASI gue rasanya udah meningkat lagi sih. Belom bisa terukur (dipompa) karena N lagi jadi cuddly koala setelah imunisasi tadi pagi. Untung ada wordpress app kan di handphone, jadi bisa update ini. Hehehe.

Hati ini tetap galau sih karena lagi nunggu hasil tes urine in case ada infeksi saluran kencing atau kemungkinan lain adalah kurang zat besi. Ah… apapun itu semoga cepet ketemu penyebabnya dan N bisa semangat lagi minumnya. Dan terutama supaya hati ini gak galau lagi… berasa tua cyin galau-galau begini.

I’m 3!

Hooray!! N is officially 3 months old today. I should say that I’m a happy and content mami. The last 3 months have been totally amazing. I love being a mom, thanks to N’s cute smiles and all that he is. Although it’s hard to get him to nap, he’s been a really good sleeper at night. I think we only had a handful experience with his sleeping at night. That being said, I still wake up 2-3 times each night to feed & change him. Not an issue though because we co-sleep and he will get back to sleep as soon as he finishes nursing.

Month 0-1

Loves: sleeping on mami & papi’s chest, pooping. drinking milk, massage time, making faces

Able to: latch on well, sleep during the night and look at the camera (since day 1!)

Weight: 4,2 kg (+1,5 kg)

Height: 54 cm (+6 cm)

Mom’s note: thank God N didn’t have issue latching on so breastfeeding has been a positive experience for both of us. His weight gain was super (as the doctor said it) and he loves sleeping on our chest.

following Papi’s lead

woohoo!!

Month 1-2

Loves: bath time, talking to whoever talks to him, singing time

Able to: eyes started to follow movements, respond to people with a smile!, sleep well in the car, hold his head up

Weight (5 days to 2 months): 5 kg

Height (5 days to 2 months): 58 cm

Mom’s note: During immunisation, he cried when the needle was inserted but then stopped straight away when it was pulled out. I’m a proud mami However N has issue with vomiting as he vomited a lot up to the point that we brought him to the doctor because we’re so worried.

chatting with opa

loving massage time

Month 2-3

Loves: playing on mat, reading time (he loves “reading” on his own), to be carried in carrier,

Able to: sleep on his own at night (sometimes we pat him to sleep), grab and hold fabrics, move from side to side, roll over to his tummy but still unable to free his arm

Weight: 5,6 kg

Height: 60 cm

Notable moment: Had his 1st fever 2 days shy from being 3 months old.

Mom’s note: This month he didn’t cry when the needle was inserted but he cried when it was pulled out. Poor baby… but he might master this immunisation thing next month. At this stage we’ve stopped burping him because whenever we burp him, he will vomit. After each feeding we have to handle him very carefully because a sudden movement will cause him to vomit. My only comfort is that he will continue on to be a happy baby after he vomits so then I know that he’s ok (and that he never vomit overnight).

Smurf-in:Fever can’t take my smile away.

And because he’s easily distracted by new sights, I positioned myself at the back of the swing where he couldn’t see me. Hillsong’s songs were playing in the background as I watched him furiously looking for the source of the noise. Our helper walked past in front of him and his eyes were following her move.

He yawned a few times but his eyes were still alert, looking to his right side. Quietly I moved to his left side and sit there watching him. He was so busy looking at whatever caught his sight and didn’t realize that I was right beside him. He yawned few more times and I could see that he got frustrated that he couldn’t fell asleep. So I moved to the front, hoping that he would notice my presence and that he would calm down. But he’s still in his own world and it was clear that he’s tired and frustrated by now.

I called him and he answered with crying. He was so glad that someone finally attended him that he starting to stop crying. I lifted him up, rocked him to bed and he was asleep within minutes.

Looking at my baby’s behaviour, I realized that I sometimes behave like him towards God. Too often I become so focus on my own world and forget about God. And like always, God never leave. He’s always there, waiting for me to turn my head back to him. I realized that when I had my baby, I became so focus on him and got overwhelmed by being a mom. I started neglecting praying time, let alone quiet time with God. My baby has become the centre of my world.

I feel that when I became a mom, my life is a whirlwind. No routine, no space for expectation and most of the time there’s no way out. As much as I love my baby, at times I got burned out. And my baby could feel that his mami wasn’t right which caused him to act up and that would make me even more tired. I became like my baby, tired and frustrated. I forgot that someone is there to renew my strength and joy.

Psalm 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” I’ve experienced this truth many times in my previous seasons. Going through this new season of my life, I want to reclaim it. Even though it’s hard to do (where does time go?!), I need to refocus my life to God daily. I know for sure that the same strength and joy that had carried me through the past will sustain me in this new motherhood season.

I’m very sure that I don’t have to start explaining on how having a baby affects your life. Just by looking at the hiatus on this site you know how my life has changed. Or maybe I was just too lazy to start writing again. Maybe…

To be honest, I haven’t been that occupied during the day. For the first 6 weeks of my baby’s life, my mom (and my aunt & uncle for 4 weeks) was staying with us and she provided us with the greatest help possible. She took care of Nathan during the day so I could nap and thanks to those naps, my panda eyes weren’t that severe. Haha. With my mom’s presence, Phodi and I even had a chance to have a short date. We went to have sashimi (been craving for them!!) and that was probably the first time I felt “normal”, by wearing a dress that was not breastfeeding friendly. So truly thankful for my mom, my aunt & uncle and also my maid who were there with us.

Oma day care

Our baby Nathanael has turned 2 months old last Saturday and these are the things that I’ve learned, felt and experienced in the past 9 weeks:

1. Someone is truly, really depending on me and that feeling is indescribable.
2. Patience is the main key to success.
3. 3 main things why babies cry: sleepy, hungry, dirty diaper. Repeat this cycle continuously in a day, add 1,5 hours play time between cycles.
4. Some days are easy, some days are pure hard and evil. As I have no nanny, there’s no other way but to rejoice and be thankful.
5. Separation with my baby (when he had jaundice and had to be hospitalized for 2 days) was so hard and sad. Probably the same feeling will come when he leaves home one day.
6. Co-sleeping works really well on us. I can breastfeed without getting up and nappy changes can be done quickly. The downside? Our bed looks is full with tissues, cotton balls and spare nappies & clothes.
   

   and I get to wake up with this view!

7. Time is precious. I plan ahead of the things I’ll do once the baby is asleep; and shower time is precious.
8. On breastfeeding: Those pictures of a mother breastfeeding calmly are deceiving… at least for the first couple of weeks. Breastfeeding needs practice, practice and patience.
   

   First 2 weeks? No where near this!

9. On breastfeeding: Direct breastfeeding is the best. No fuzz with washing & sterilizing bottles and no need to worry that your bottle milk is spoiled.
10. Good bye small handbags, hello big diaper bag!
11. I need almost twice the time to get ready before leaving home and three quarter of it goes to the baby.
    

    Lucky = no vomit before leaving the house

12. My baby loves being in the car and going out, and we love taking him out. He sleeps through noises and so far haven’t cried when we took him to public places.
13. As much as I love playing with my baby, I love him slightly more when he’s sleeping well because that means he’ll be happy when he’s awake and mummy gets some me time.
    

    when he sleeps well, he’ll wake up happy

14. My baby loves bath time.
15. Once my baby is old enough to respond to our smiles (around 6 weeks old), everything I’ve done is paid off. Those overnight nappy changes suddenly becoming much easier because he smiles happily when we change him.
    

    how to resist this smile?

16. No one warned me that a baby can (and will) vomit that much in a day. Hello extra laundry!! (Thank God for my maid)
17. Once the baby started blabbering and responding to us (around 7 weeks old), getting him to sleep was harder because he wants to play all the time.
    

    wefie during playtime

18. Phodi and I agreed that what some people told us (including my MIL) about the horror of waking up at night for feeding and nappy changes were hyperbolic. Or maybe we’re blessed with a baby who behaves well at night. Although he used to wake up every 2 hours for milk, but he always went back to sleep straight away. These days he’ll wake up every 3-4 hours and that’s good enough for me.
19. People (usually of older generation) will make comments on how you take care of your baby. While some were helpful, some just left me speechless. The most ridiculous comment I received? “Your baby wears disposable diaper? Poor him, he should have worn (traditional) cloth diaper instead.”
20. Celebrate each milestone because each one is precious and because only then I know that I’ve done the right things.
    

    showing off in front of the doctor. 4 days before turning 2.

For moms out there, do we anything in common?