Since the start of this year, I was 99% confident that we would become a homeschooling family. I always have that confidence inside my heart even though I wasn’t confident enough to say it out loud. But that little voice inside my heart was always telling me that being a homeschooling family is our calling.

We searched high and low for a community / friends to walk this journey with in Bandung. We went to schools who call themselves “homeschooling community” (this is a weird concept though). We introduced ourself to other homeschooling families. We even went to regular schools to observe and talk to educators. We did all things we could to ensure ourself (mostly) myself that what we will choose is our best choice for our family.

Last week we were talking to a primary school principal. We mainly talked about Nathan because we enrolled him in this one christian school for Primary 1 next year. Now you asked why would we enroll Nathan if we’re going to homeschool. We did it because there’s a psychological/IQ test and we thought it was a good check-up point for us. We wanted to know how Nathan’s development is comparing to his peers.

One point that she mentioned was that she believes home education is best up to primary school level. She believes that whenever possible, christian families should pursue home education. Hearing that coming from a christian school principal was quite shocking yet affirming at the same time.

I was grateful for that meeting. Nathan’s test result was positive and it gave me lots of encouragement because it showed that what we’ve been doing the right thing. Of course Nathan has a lot of things to improve on. He’s only 5 after all. Also us as a family has tons of things to work on; discipline and obedience are our 2 main issues.

I’m very excited yet nervous! So many things to decide but one thing I’m sure of, Jesus will help us in this journey he has called us into

Kasih itu sabar ;kasih itu murah hati; ia tidak cemburu. Ia tidak memegahkan diri dan tidak sombong. Ia tidak melakukan yang tidak sopan dan tidak mencari keuntungan diri sendiri. Ia tidak pemarah dan tidak menyimpan kesalahan orang lain. 1 Korintus 13:4-5.

Salah satu hal yang paling susah dilakukan oleh saya dan mungkin kebanyakan orang lain adalah bersabar. Sungguh ya, bersabar itu ujian besar terutama saat bersama anak-anak. Apalagi kalo udah memasukki zona minggu tertentu di dalam satu bulan. Wah, tanpa sadar kadar kesabaran berkurang drastis. Biasanya saat sabar hilang, emosi memuncak dan hancur leburlah mood satu rumah. Huhuhu.

Seringnya ya, kesabaran itu hilang karena hal yang sepele dan sebenernya bisa dihindari. Misalnya, saat siap-siap pergi dan anak-anak lamaaaaaa banget pake sepatu dan kita udah hampir terlambat nih! Padalah seharusnya bisa dihindari kan dengan siap-siap lebih awal.

Hal lain yang saya sadari juga, kadar sabar saya berkurang kalau saya merasa lebih pinter dari orang lain. Karena merasa udah tau, jadi males dengerin pendapat orang lain. Iya, heeh, angguk-angguk dengan niat untuk melawan pernyataan orang itu atau cepat-cepat menyelesaikan pembicaraan. Bukan hal yang baik untuk dilakukan.

Tapi sungguh Tuhan baik. Berkali-kali baca ayat ini tapi di suatu pagi bulan Mei terbukalah mata hati saya bahwa kasih harus dimulai dengan sabar,

Saat ada kesabaran, engkau akan bermurah hati memberikan anak-anak waktu untuk bertumbuh sesuai kemampuan mereka.

Saat ada kesabaran, engkau akan menjadi pendengar yang baik dan belajar memahami orang lain.

Saat ada kesabaran, engkau akan mengerti lebih baik dan menilai dengan bijaksana.

Saat ada kesabaran, engkau akan bisa memilih hal yang baik dan tepat.

Saat ada kesabaran, engkau akan bisa mengasihi dengan seutuhnya.

Semangat untuk kita semua yang hari ini masih perlu belajar untuk sabar. Kalo suatu saat tiba di titik kesabaran hampir habis, diinget aja bahwa untung Tuhan masih sabar sama kita. Kebayang gak kalo kesabaran Tuhan habis? Awww… takut!

While I was enjoying the cute romance filled series, I was bothered by the age recommendation for these dramas, 13+. That means it’s recommended ok for kids age 13 and up to watch.

I understand that 13 is considered teen. Some culture even skip calling their 13 year old as “teens”, rather they call them as “young adult”. I was reflecting back on how my 13 year old self was. I think I had my first crush around that time and all the confusion about the meaning of “love” started back then. However I couldn’t imagine how awkward it must have been for a 13 year old me to watch those dramas.

Out of the 5 series I’ve watched so far, all of them have

• Boy – girl relationship
• Passionate kissing scenes
• “I can’t wait to sleep with you”
• “I love you so I can wait”
• Oh wait, let’s break up for a while
• Let’s get back! And now that we’re back let’s sleep together
• Implied sex scenes – details in your imagination
• Ends up together happily ever after

Also some of them have

• In-laws who oppose the relationship at first but then support it
• Male actor showing off his abs. Mostly shower scenes or during those kissing scenes
• One or both main characters are super rich / famous and respected by everyone
• Siblings rivalry

So there. I’m not sure how much a 13 year old, especially girl, can handle all this while maintaining her consciousness of the real world. The changing hormones in young adults usually make them more self-conscious. I can’t imagine adding more drama into their lives. K-dramas are fun to watch but they can give a sense of insecurity and false hope.

Simply because boys are not as handsome (or pretty) as the K-drama actors. Relationships may not end in a marriage, unlike in K-drama. But also, love can be simple and straight forward. In-laws can be kind, siblings can be best friends and not as evil as in K-drama. Sleeping together is to be done after the marriage, not before the marriage.

It has been a reminder for me too that I should be more cautious with what I watch and feed my mind. Also be more aware of what to feed my kids mind. This is one of the reasons why we have not bring Nathan to the cinema yet. I don’t want to compromise his precious soul with subtle sex reference or dark themes.

One day he will be exposed to those and we should be ready to answer his questions. But until then, I’ll hold him tight and let him be little just a little longer…

https://www.instagram.com/p/YRvxTyguqh/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=mkggrnlxe8om

6 years ago this month, I was leaving my work before getting married and moving to different state/country. The plan at that time was to move for 6 months to Bandung, Indonesia then settle in Sunshine Coast, Australia.

I remember one of the managers told me, “Jess, people would usually manage 1 or 2 changes in their life. But you’re braving 3! Change of relationship, change of work and change of house. I wish you all the luck in the world.”

I also remember how his words strucked me, thinking that I must be crazy for doing this to myself. Yet I always felt peace during those days. Deep down I knew that I made the right decision.

6 years on, a lot of things had happened. Some are the things we had planned to: having kids, buying house. God’s grace allowed us to achieve those. Other things are beyond our imagination: moving to Manila. Never once it cross my mind to visit the Philippines, let alone live here.

However here I am. On the same month, 6 years after I packed my Australian life, I’m getting ready to go to Bandung once again.

Life with God surely is adventure. I’m looking forward to the next chapter of our life.
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9, NLT

I tried to keep it cool but I felt like the kids were pushing all my buttons. I tried to pull back a little but in the end I lost my temper. One thing I’ve noticed though, the kids always know if I’m not 100%. They will get along very well.

Motherhood is hard. Each day I’m praying for wisdom and understanding, diligence and patience to go through the day.

Now it’s night time. The kids are all good, I am good.

Tomorrow we all should be better.

I first had the idea of homeschooling when I was in Melbourne. I cannot remember the exact trigger but being a carer in Wesley’s after school program ABC Day Care gave me a glimpse of parents-kids relationships and schooling. Also the (awful) memory of learning in high school; memorization and more memorization.

Anyhow, Phodi never say no to HS but he also didn’t completely agree on it. Fast forward to 2017 when we were looking at the possibility of moving to Manila, Phodi was exposed to the huge community of homeschooler in our church, CCF. He had a shift of mind on HS and think that we should do HS. However I was the one who think that HS is impossible but I also reject the idea of regular school. Haha.

One of our main concerns was a community. We know some friends in Jakarta and Surabaya who are doing HS but we know noone who’s doing HS in Bandung, evenmore a fellow Christian. Through some friends I got introduced to some people in Bandung but I was still unsure.

Last week I was asking for more connection and finally found a Christian/Catholic group of homeschoolers. Hehe I was glad that at least there is one. So that was one thing to tick off.

One other thing, I almost forget how fun it is to learn together with my kids, especially Nathan. With him in school 4 days a week and a music class on the other day, I almost never do activities with him anymore. The most we would do is reading, but then he can read by himself too! So we haven’t had that learning time together.

Last week he was staying home because of cold and we made a simple chinese numbers game. It was so fun or as Marie Kondo would say it “sparks joy”. I just realized how precious it is to be able to intentionally spend time with my kids.

That night I told Phodi that maybe we should try homeschooling. Other thing that also convicted me was Ps Josh and Sean McDowell during the IDC Conference. They said that parents are responsible to their children not for their children. To love, to train and to teach. Children are accountable for themselves. While there could be many interpretations on this, for me education is one responsibility and HS seems to suit our family best.

Eek.. Even writing this right now gives me so much anxiety. But then 1 Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” Also I keep reminding myself that God cares for my kids more than Phodi or I care for them.

Please pray for Phodi and I as we decide on this matter. I’m praying specifically for teachable hearts (us and the kids), provision (community, financial, space) and wisdom to choose the most suitable method/curriculum/material should we go ahead with HS.

I have written down wishes and goals of things I want to achieve in the coming year. Mostly stuff that I’ve been doing but want to do more.

My theme this year is being intentional. There were so much time being wasted because I delay things and not focusing on my goals. I really hope to be more intentional this year… On my marriage, my kids, my spiritual and physical health.

For one, this year I wish to be more intentional with my writing. Just to write something new each week. Whatever that might be. Some thoughts, some ramblings, some stories… I aim to consistently write even when I feel there’s nothing to write about.

What are the things you aim to achieve this year?

Here’s to 2019! Cheers!

Our home had its fair portion of laughs and joy, as well as tears and angers. My prayer this year is that our home will grow deeper and stronger in our faith to Him.

My most memorable moments and praise points for 2018 are;

• My parents visited us in Manila
• Made new friends through DGroup and the lovely neighbors at The Grove
• Living at The Grove. That place is a piece of heaven in Manila
• Took the kids to dolphins watching and islands hopping in Bohol
• Nadine’s swam in the sea for the first time in June
• Went to Hong Kong. 1st Disneyland for the kids
• My kids turned 4 and 2
• Found out that Nathan really enjoys his music class
• Nadine finally started talking and calling me “Mami!”
• Flew solo with 2 kids from Manila to Jakarta *pat on shoulder*
• Went on an overnight trip with Phodi. Finally after 4 years!
• And for that I thank my mom’s family for helping my parents taking care of the kids
• 2 of my cousins got married and I will welcome a niece/nephew next year!

Thank you Jesus for a great year!

Buko everyday

I think I’m enjoying life here just fine. Of course I miss my family but thanks to technology we can stay in touch everyday. My parents have also came here twice and the kids still love them to bits. Nathan even asked when they’re coming back to Manila on the morning after my parents left.

Learning about flowers

I’m glad that we have made new friends along the way.

Play all day

I’m happy to see that Nathan can communicate well and make new friends. I’m happy that the kids have a safe and clean environment to play and learn. Nathan graduated from junior Pre-K after 3 months of class

I’m thankful that we have found our new normal in this city. I’m glad that we have found our new routine.

So I have sticked to “each day better me” instead. Each day I wake up, I try to be better than before. For me it is more efficient because I usually remember what I did not so well and thus can try to fix it the next day.

It will stay the same this year. I have goals and visions of what I want to achieve but generally, I just want to be better in all aspects.

Looking back at the events this year, I can only say that God is gracious. Many times I failed yet God remains the faithful.

Here are the highlights of my 2017:

1. Being a mom of 2.

I started becoming mom of 2 in 2016 but Nadine was a wee baby then. As she grows, things get more interesting. Okay, challenging is the right word. In the process I learned more about of myself, as I learned about my kids.

I dug deep within myself and found another layer of myself that I didn’t know existed. Patience, self control and time management were my main lessons.

2. Moving to the Philippines.

2 months in and I’m grateful for this experience. I think we came at the right moment so our honeymoon period is at this festive Christmas season. Making it easier for us to enjoy the new city. Of course we miss our family back home but they’re just a whatsapp video call away.

3. My parents and extended family are healthy and well.

And my grandma celebrated her 80th birthday last June!

4. Nadine finished her TB medication.

5. Watching Coldplay’s A Head Full of Dreams in Singapore

It was my first night out sans kids. Flew my parents to Singapore so we could go to the concert. Then we had a 3 days family holiday.

6. Traveling alone in KL with 2 kids

Hahaha. I really have to put this down on the list. Not being narcissistic, but I’m quite amazed at how I was able to bring 2 kids out to the aquarium + shopping by myself. And we actually went twice! Haha. Read more here.

I learned that when there’s a will, there’s a way BUT I wouldn’t go solo these days. Definitely not in Manila malls. Maybe one day when Nadine is a little bit older. Maybe.

7. Lots of my friends were getting married!

Although I wasn’t able to attend a number of them, I’m glad that they have found the one. God bless our marriage, guys!

Those are the highlights of my year. Next year is the year of my 5th wedding anniversary, me turning 30 and some travels in between (I hope!). Afterall we gotta maximize our time here by exploring the Philippines.

In 2018, I want to be more intentional. As a wife, as a mom, as a person, I need to be more intentional. Focus on the goal and less on the noise surrounding it.

Next year we also need to decide on how we want to school Nathan. Big decision to make!

Hope you are satisfied with your 2017! May your 2018 be blessed with love and joy. God speed.